Awaiting “Dead”. By Rt. Rev. Dr. Major (Retired) Timotheus Nasir

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Death of a loving Lady, prompted me to write this “Sad Tale” of our “Elderly and Sick” parents and relatives in Pakistan. This loving lady was over eighty years of age and was sick. She had “Angiography” and then “Angioplasty” very recently and died yesterday in hospital. She lived with on of her children in fairly comfortable live. I met her last month, and she just mentioned, “I wish to see all my children and their children before I die”. (She was like a real mother to me and during my military service, I would leave my wife and small children with her and she very lovingly took care of them while I was away). I smiled and told her, “who is going to let you die”? And in return she smiled and blessed me with her prayers. Early December she had out of nowhere developed “Cardiac problem”. Her children living abroad were informed, who “graciously” sent all money that was needed for her treatment. She still desired to see her children (even a small and brief glimpse) but they could spare and send “money” but could not spare “some time” for her. I know people in America and Europe are too busy and really don’t care for “irrational desire” of their parents. The old loving lady died on 16th December 2005, at 5 PM local time and with that died her desire to see her children “once”.

Her children and relatives abroad were informed and after some deliberations, it is decided that, “a representative” from the family will come. This information was received with instructions, “when and where their widow mother would be buried”. Dead Body of the loving lady was shifted to a “Mortuary”. I call it “Refrigerator”, frozen in a “drawer” still forced to wait for “an odd” child of her very loving and caring children and relatives. All that is left of her and for her is “unfulfilled desire” in the “chilled drawer” and few “tears” on behalf of the entire family that she raised. I understand the problem of getting a flight to Pakistan during this time of the year, yet I always failed to understand that when people know that there old father or mother are seriously ill, why can’t they think of their parents and take some time off for those unfortunate parents who had given their children all their whole life and time life. Who waited for them all the way through, their “birth”, their first “giggle”, their first “word” and first “step” and finally die waiting for their last ”glance or glimpse” and end up in “Mortuary” or “chilled drawer” before they are really laid to rest.

A telephone call once in a while, some money if they can spare and some ”tears” that are shed after the elderly parents die. Is it all they have for their parents? This “Sad Tale” will not end here. Few years latter, these children, relatives and friends will die and they too will wait for what their parents waited for in a “Chilled Drawer” or “Funeral Homes” with frozen and dead eyes.

Therefore, I made a “Will” today, I have written, “when I die, I must be buried as soon as my grave is ready”. If my children, brothers and sisters, relatives (close or distant) and friends can not spare some time for me, while I am still alive, why should I wait for them with closed eyes and frozen face and body? I deprive them of this “right” or “privilege” if it can be called so.

These few bitter words might open the “eyes” o some, who are living abroad, while their old and sick parents and relatives wait for them and die. Old parents and relatives are not “pieces of junk”, who would wait for them in “Dead’s Junk Yard”, a Mortuary.

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